GRRR!

I don't usually write blogs so close together for fear I bore the reader.  Of course, it is possible to bore the reader with rare appearances of my adventures.  I guess the issue is, "do I wish to bore the reader more often than not?" 
However, I must write when something inside me wants out.  Now that I am alone there are few people to share these "inspirations' with.  Maybe Bonnie left for such reasons.  Who knows? 
It is more of a frustration today than an inspiration.  It kept me awake most of the long night and caused me such inner mental anguish today that nothing could divert me from its annoying pounding in my head.  The 4th cup of coffee this morning did little to settle my mind. 
If you have seen Facebook today you know that I went to Seoul yesterday.  I posted a few of my pictures.  Last night when the sun was low in the sky and darkness began to extinguish its bright rays I pulled out my trusty Pentax and pushed the button that says in plain English  "up flash."  Nothing!  What?  I pushed it again, and then again, and then again. I changed all my settings.  In my panic I started pushing all the buttons for no apparent reason except to get something to happen!  Please!  Still nothing! 
I changed from Auto Flash to Manual Flash, still nothing.  By this time I was mumbling to myself in Korean.  It is a good thing I didn't understand the language! 
Phuong had her Smart Phone.  She kept giving me HER phone so I could take night pictures!  Is this humiliating or what? For Pete's sake! I have a Pentax slr digital camera and she is handing me a smart phone so I can take pictures!  Her phone fits in her hand and her purse while mine hangs around my neck like a weighted cow bell.  What is wrong with this picture?  Everyone in the tower was taking pictures with their phones!  All of them were getting better pictures than me!  I was the only guy with a true bona fide camera.  I can even change lenses!  GRRRR!
I went home completely humiliated and so ashamed of my camera that Paul Fitzgerald couldn't cure it.  How could it let me down like that in front of everybody?  "Here! Use my phone! It works! Hee Hee!" Phuong was enjoying herself!
I came home and wrote Bonnie.  She still gets my frustrations.  Sorry, girl.  You can run but you can't hide. "My camera is broke!" I cried in my email.  "I tried everything!!!  I even downloaded the camera manual and read it."  Now that is frustration!  The manual gave no light on the subject.  Surprise!  I told Bonnie my camera had a problem and the flash was dead!  Who wants to walk around with a broken camera while others are using palm size phones anyway?  IT IS NOT FAIR! 
Apparently, Bonnie was buying all of this.  "I guess for Christmas we can do something about this."  Um.  I should have quit right there and then.  But no!  Not me.  I had to keep pushing it.  When will I learn to stop and leave well enough alone?? 
I kept trying to fix my camera!  Why?  Bonnie all but promised to buy me a new one.  Am I nuts, or what?  Finally, after a long night and day with all of this I tried something I hadn't done before.  I took my forefinger and manually lifted up the flash without using the "up" button.  IT CAME UP!  I took a picture.  The flash worked.  I gently pushed the flash back down into its cradle.  I pushed the 'Up' button again and it came up so easy and worked like new!  I pushed it up again and again.  I was mumbling again, only louder.   Did I hear the Pentax laughing at me?  Something was!
NO! NO! NO!  It was supposed to be broken! Christmas is only a few months away!  Don't work now you ***&**!!! (sorry).
So here I am tonight again looking at another  probable sleepless night.  Why couldn't my camera stay broken?  The question replays in my mind like a constant pounding in my head.  When will I learn to leave well enough alone?  When when when?!  I guess I could lie to Bonnie and not tell her.  No! That won't work.  I think she reads my blogs.  GRRR!***!!!